Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
