So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
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