Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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