I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
