I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Randomize
