Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
