what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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