Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Randomize
