i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
