I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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