Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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