Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
