is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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