I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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