You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
as a side note pls kill me
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
