Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
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