He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize