my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Randomize
