I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize