That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
My feet surprised me
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