I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
