I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
My dick has a subreddit
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
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