im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
