I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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