You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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