4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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