she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize