do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Randomize
