Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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