If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
