I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
