all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
