This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
