I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
