In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I want a musical about memes.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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