can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
