Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
