WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
