pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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