It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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