You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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