He is an equal opportunity slut.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
