I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
