Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Non-Jews are for practice
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
