Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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