Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Randomize
