I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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