Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
