Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
