it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
He felt like a one man threesome
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
