I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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