why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
