hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
