I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize